Mr. Smith's Neighborhood

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In Memorium: 9/11 September 10, 2007

Dear Osama: You Lose!


It is September 11, 2007. It has been six years. On this day in 2001, nineteen cowards hiding under the skirts one of history’s greatest mass murderers committed a despicable act that can only be considered satanic. At the same time, that man in the dress, Osama bin Laden, made a mistake beyond his narcissistic, imbecilic dreams.

Today, bin Laden lives in caves like a coward, running from a world who wants to end his miserable existence. He relies on videos to send a message that very few care to hear. He is a false prophet who may succeed in hiding in caves from his executioners and assassins, but he will one day face the true God who will judge him accordingly.

What bin Laden failed to understand is that he is just a coward who killed innocent people. We have suffered incredible grief and many (inkling myself) still shed tears for those who died on that tragic day. But Americans also found a new generation of heroes that fateful day. And we marvel at the heroes who refused to run in fear from a coward’s attack.


There were the fire fighters and the police officers who ran into the face of death to save whomever they could. There were the innocent civilians who did not run in fear but turned around to help others make it out. There were the thousands who died innocently, some instantly and some gruesomely, who died as free people in the greatest nation this planet has ever seen..

And then there was United 93. We can hear bin Laden’s puppets dying as cowards, yelling in pure fear, as a small group of average Americans overran these weak, pitiful, brainwashed failures. It wasn’t the military who took out United 93 … it was just some average men and women (some senior citizens) who showed how easily terrorists die like chickens.

We have wandered through the last six years searching for the biggest coward of all without much success. We have removed Saddam Hussein from the front pages, but it is time that we embark on a new path of action.

About 37 years ago, Marvin Gaye told us that only love can conquer hate (What’s Going On). My religion tells us that vengeance is best left to the Lord. I oppose the war in Iraq for the same reason that I detest all war; that, however, is an arena that is left to the generals and the politicians. However, a new direction seems to embody three specific topics.

First, we need to devalue the Middle East by reducing America’s dependence on oil. We can find our own or we can use shale oil … but we need to get rid of the internal combustion engines. Until new technology is in place, we need to raise the CAFE standards to 35 MPG or higher. Let’s use our inventive and creative powers rather than out military powers.

The next thing is that we need to stop giving bin Laden air time. Make the media put him on the ignore list EXCEPT for our own bin Laden propaganda creations. Let him make all the videos he wants, and let the Arab world and France soak it up. But let’s retaliate by getting our kids stuff they can post on You Tube. The government can hire Hollywood to produce films of bin Laden engaged in bestiality and sodomy. Get a look-alike to make erratic, stupid speeches. Let’s outdo him in the media.

The final step is to bring our boys home from Iraq as soon as possible. Let’s use the money that we are spending on the war effort to post a substantial, multi-million dollar reward for the capture of bin Laden. Take him alive and bring him to the United States. Release him to New Yorkers in Times Square. Enough said.

Please excuse my ranting and raving. Like many Americans, there is still some latent anger from that day. But, most of all, please join me in a prayer for the boys in Iraq, a prayer for all the heroes and innocent people who died bravely six years ago, and unending songs of praise for the heroes and survivors still among us. As much as we are saddened by our losses, we are forever strengthened by the spirit of America, something that bin Laden could never crush.

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